Wei Zhiyuan doesn't know how he got through those days, which had to be described in one word, "darkness".
At first, he was angry.
To Sanfat, to that unknown girl, and even to the unknown Shou Bou.
Wei Zhiyuan felt that he was isolated by the whole world, and no one cared about his efforts to dig out. He saw in Sanfat's expression a helpless and emotionally compelled tolerance.
But why should he need to be tolerated by others?
Did he do anything wrong?
He was like a man traveling in snow and wind, unable to see anything along the way, with only the one lighthouse to guide him with its faint but unique light.
Now, they're taking what little they have.
Anger is an emotion that does not last, like a handful of sand that will either soon be blown away by the wind or settle into a deep, rock-like resentment.
After that, Wei Zhiyuan's emotions slipped into the latter.
Resentment was like a seed that had been buried in his heart for twenty years, buried so deep, so stuck in his throat, that with a little wind and rain it would break through the ground and grow into a huge tree with flesh and blood attached to it.
Crazy hatred pervaded every corner of his heart - just like a corpse, even though it was covered up again, it couldn't hide the odor of decay - even though Wei Zhiyuan was already trying his hardest not to show it, even Xiaobao, who had always been a big talker, sensed that something was wrong with him, and every time he talked to him, his tone of voice had to be eight degrees lower. Every time he talked to him, his voice was an octave lower.
His resentment was directed at everyone, so spreading it out over everyone made it seem less intense, except for Wei Qian.
Wei Zhiyuan himself does not know how many years, he even himself can not say clearly, to the big brother's feelings strong sticky to what kind of point, and even now almost some love and hate up.
If you love them so much, you can't eat their bones, eat their flesh, or drink their blood.
Wei Zhiyuan's mental state was in a state of extreme numbness and sensitivity.
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Reading in sections 58
There was some kind of one-touch storm brewing in the state of the
Just then, Wei Qian returned.
Wei Qian from the plane down when people are confused, in the airport sent Ma Chunming bought him a large cup of strong tea, poured in, barely refreshed, and rushed to the headquarters for a meeting to report on the recent work points.
By the time he got home, exhausted, it was after eight o'clock at night.
It was hot in the south, he wore a thin shirt inside, and only hastily wrapped up his coat when he arrived over here, but the little chilly winds of the north still kept pouring into his clothes, and Wei Qian entered the house wrapped in the cold, his bare/exposed skin freezing white.
The moment Wei Zhiyuan heard the door slam, his heart began to beat violently.
He sleepwalked out, feeling the big brother standing in the doorway as if it had hit him alive and raw in the eyes.
"Where are you at home? It's freezing," Wei Qian swept a glance at him, then asked without looking up, "Got anything to eat?"
Wei Zhiyuan couldn't say anything for a while before he answered like a walking corpse, walked into the kitchen, took two eggs and started dicing vegetables, intending to fry the remaining bowl of rice.
Wei Qian said outside, "Xiaoyuan, you don't need to make so much trouble, there are leftovers for me to bring over and just have a couple bites."
Wei Zhiyuan turned a deaf ear.
It was as if he had to do something to keep himself superficially calm.
Wei Qian thought he didn't hear, was steamed by the heat of the room, the lazy tendons of the whole body suddenly began to tangle to a piece, he was boneless like a paralyzed to the sofa, suitcases thrown to the side, and turned on the TV.
By the time Wei Zhiyuan came out with a bowl of fried rice, Wei Qian had already fallen asleep leaning on the sofa.
Wei Zhiyuan's breathing stopped along with his footsteps.
The large bowl in the center of his hand began to burn, yet it was as if his hands were numb and he couldn't feel a thing.
Wei Qian's body shrank into a small corner along with the soft cushions of the sofa, the elevated legs hadn't yet had time to be lowered, one hand pressed vainly on the remote control, the other hand crossed over his chest in aggravation, the side of his head leaning against the back of the sofa, his chin almost completely shrunk into the collar of his coat, his face was bloodless, the dry cracked lips bursting out with tiny bits of dry skin and fissures, and the heaving and falling of his chest all seemed so inconspicuous.
...... looks like it's dead.
Wei Zhiyuan heard his heart beat heavily.
In his extensive but not selective reading, he had read many stories that mentioned making specimens of living people, which he had previously regarded as a curiosity and had never taken to heart, but at this moment, a similar thought was like a bolt of lightning that "clattered" and shattered his tattered mental world.
If you let that person ...... never speak again, never open their eyes again, never see another person ......
Wei Zhiyuan felt that he must have some sort of gene belonging to a criminal in his bones, and he began to walk forward uncontrollably, slowly approaching the unconscious Wei Qian, his gaze fixed dead on him as if he was possessed.
Old Mrs. Song, who was deaf, had already gone to bed, and Bao hadn't yet gotten out of his evening study.
Closer ...... closer.
Close enough to hear Wei Qian's thin, steady breathing and see a hint of his unmoving eyelashes.
At this moment, Wei Zhiyuan heart surged up without warning sadness, like a river that suddenly breaks the dike, raging mercilessly washed away the cold murderous intent that he embraced in his internal organs, he heard the tidal wave like a bombardment of falling crosswise sound, for a long time, and from it, and with difficulty to discern the voice of the heart that he had pressed to the bottom of the water, which was a brief and concise sentence ... ...
How did he lose weight?
The imagined resentment and the living person tore apart the love and desire in Wei Zhiyuan's heart.
They hurt to the core, and then the two compartments become entangled in death, and finally they come together in a near-desperate clarity.
The only thing that can overwhelm the innate paranoia is a bone-deep feeling, and Wei Zhiyuan knows that he will never be able to move such a feeling again in his life.
He finally put down the bowl he was holding, curled up his fingertips that were reddened by the scald, gently pushed Wei Qian, and bent down to softly say, "Brother, wake up."
...... Wake up, I can hardly stand it anymore, please look at me, I can break my bones and soul for you.
Then nothing happened, Wei Qian woke up after he woke up and finished off a big bowl of fried rice at light speed, probably didn't even bother chewing it before he just swallowed it, and after that he waddled around and dragged his suitcase back to the house and unsurprisingly saw what Sanfat had done - the person who could freely come and go from his room and do something as boring as that didn't do anything else.
Wei Qian doesn't like to speculate about the people around him, and even more so, he was too lazy to think deeply about what Three Fatty meant by this, but he just felt that the fat man was too idle to be a pain in the ass, and cursed himself, "Fuck me, dead fat man."
Then he tore off the box and threw it away, the lighter looked at it and couldn't tell how much it was worth, and casually stuffed it into a drawer, and finally snapped Feng Ning's picture over to it and found a nook and cranny to stuff it in.
In his eyes, it was just a small prank by Sanfat, so small that he couldn't even talk about spicing up his life, and he forgot about it in the blink of an eye.
He didn't even notice the upheaval in Wei Zhiyuan's heart.
That day was the first day of the second month of the old calendar, it seems that it should be about to start the spring, but there is no spring, the whole day is gloomy, seems to be holding back a big snow, the river has not opened up, spring in a piece of cold weather is forgotten.
The project crisis in C-City was officially lifted, and the entire company was treated to a belated annual meeting and extraordinarily generous year-end awards.
I don't know if the mental state was too relaxed, but Wei Qian unexpectedly got up late that day, and it was only when Three Fatty ran and knocked on his door as he was getting ready to leave that he was hard pressed to dig him out of bed.
Wei Qian soldierly and chaotically cleaned himself up, rushed out the door, and did not notice that he had lost something.
On the way, San Fatty was still tentatively asking Wei Qian, "Did Xiao Yuan say anything to you?"
"Xiao Yuan?" Wei Qian froze for a moment, "Tell me what?"
Three fat eyes turned, busy interrupting the past, this period of time his spirit has been tense, lest Wei Zhiyuan do something irrational to hurt people and hurt themselves, however, Wei Zhiyuan even seems to have become a mute gun, nothing to say, nothing to do.
Three fat thought: strange ...... Don t be holding back any big ideas, right?
Three Fatty: "Hey, by the way, the evening party, even the celebration banquet, you know it, right?"
Wei Qian: "Uh-huh."
Three fat: "The invitations of the major shareholders and the previous various partners have been delivered, and family members can also bring ...... Oh yes, I also called Feng Ning."
Wei Qian rolled his eyes.
Three Fatty immediately warned, "But you promised in red!"
Wei Qian could only wave his hand and let him go.
As a result, when it came to the evening celebration banquet, Mr. Zhang came out again to make a demon, proposing that they hang out the big real picture of the project in C city, so that everyone can dip into the joy together.
Although Zhang always this goods is the culprit who made them so dusty, but face after all still have to give, Wei Qian let a person to look for only to find that he was rushed by the three fat in the morning, simply forgot to bring out, had to temporarily call home, so that happened to be at home Wei Zhiyuan to send him over.
When Wei Zhiyuan arrived at the downstairs of their company, the chairman's secretary was waiting for him and was busy welcoming him and said cordially, "You're Wei Dong's younger brother, right? He asked me to pick you up downstairs."
The chairman's secretary is thirty years old, looks like a pure girl, but the character can be split without excessively a brown man, just spring breeze and warm and Wei Zhiyuan finished talking, turn your eyes to pick up a phone call began to stare and scolding: "You said you put the speech on his desk? You expect Wei Dong to find out by himself? Why don't you expect Columbus to discover a new continent again? You kids, can't you be more careful? How many times have I reminded you that you have to hand this to him in person, tell him with your mouth that it's an introductory speech before the dinner, not a congratulatory message from some unknown partner! If you don't tell him there is such a thing, he dares to go straight up and bow and tell everyone to eat and drink well, do you believe me?"
Then, realizing that she seemed to have complained about her boss in front of someone's brother, she hurriedly squeezed out a smile at Wei Zhiyuan, and with her extremely fast face-changing speed, she said in a voice as weak and gentle as that of a small-stepping Japanese woman, "You're still a student, right? Alas, the job of those of us is to pay attention to these cockamamie things for the boss that they don't need to pay attention to, come to think of it, it's still more fun to go to school."
Wei Zhiyuan politely smiled at her, but in his heart, he was obsessed with repeatedly recalling what the woman in front of him had said just now.
You expect him to find out on his own?
Tell him with your mouth ......
The elevator quickly arrived, the secretary lady took the things Wei Zhiyuan brought, carefully arranged a place for him, "Thank you ah, specially run a trip, Wei Dong let you eat after dinner to take his car back together, there are poorly taken care of place with sister said."
After saying that, she stepped on her high heels and ran away like a firecracker with rabies. Following her "launch track", Wei Zhiyuan looked up and saw his brother.
Wei Qian is wearing formal attire, one hand inserted in his pocket, the hem of his blouse is folded up a bit by his wrist, the slightly cocked side reveals his hidden waist, the tie around his neck is still the same one that Wei Zhiyuan bought for him in the beginning. He was holding a piece of paper that someone else had just handed to him--probably the opening statement that the secretary lady had said just now.
He was filled with impatience and seemed about to say something when a balding old man walked over to him and he had to briefly gather his personal emotions and give a smile that was just the right amount of warmth as well.
Wei Zhiyuan didn't stare at him with his good eyeballs until the lights in the whole room were dimmed.
He watched as Weiqian casually folded the stupid piece of paper and stuffed it into the chairman's secretary's cup, walking up to the stage empty-handed and making a short but decent opening.
The only light in the hall followed him, and all eyes followed him.
Wei Zhiyuan uncontrollably remembered more things - the teenager who killed a wild dog with a brick more than ten years ago, the laughter of being amused by the time-honored "suicide note", the embrace that came over to pick him up in stride and let him release the iron pipe in his hand, the smell of bruise ointment and cigarette smoke that stained the time of the day, the scars of the night in the hotel in a foreign country. The time-stained smell of bruise ointment and cigarette smoke, the scars of a late night in a hotel in a foreign country ......
Cold, firm, gentle, anxious, angry, helpless ...... all the expressions that appeared on that man's face.
The mingling party begins and everyone is as relaxed as they are relieved.
Wei Zhiyuan had no appetite-he saw the girl in the photo, who seemed a little prettier in person than in the photo, standing next to Sanfat, glancing shyly at Wei Qian and lowering her head in embarrassment.
That's her, isn't it?
With Wei Zhiyuan s intelligence, he later calmed down, in fact, has guessed that his brother and this girl has not started, most likely the three fat deliberately stimulate his ...... But so what?
They could totally start now.
Wei Zhiyuan didn't eat anything, he just poured wine on an empty stomach, wondering in the heart of the taste of alcohol, I want to give up?
As far as he could remember, there had never yet been anything he wanted that he couldn't get, and such arrogance had finally experienced a devastating blow.
Wei Qian did not know whether to give three fat face, or out of the heart, in front of Feng Ning acted like a real young talent, three fat watched them talk and laugh, not moving away, face is a stone fell to the ground of relief.
Wei Zhiyuan closed his eyes, and the tangled and undulating scales in his heart finally tilted to one side.
He thought: well, I give up.
A full glass of spirits was then poured down his throat in a single gulp, burning hotly all the way into his stomach, but all that remained on his tongue was bitterness.
It wasn't until the banquet was over that Wei Qian got rid of the others and found Wei Zhiyuan under the guidance of his secretary.
Wei Zhiyuan was smelling of alcohol and his eyes were already out of place.
Wei Qian had to stand him up, "Bastard, you've even learned to drink, no one cares about you anymore, right?"
Wei Zhiyuan stared at him in a daze, not saying a word and obediently stood up along with his big brother's hand strength.
Wei Qian helped him all the way to his office, threw Wei Zhiyuan on a chair, and poured him a cup of herbal tea, "Sober up before going home."
After saying that, Wei Qian took off his suit jacket and prepared to go out in a while to change into his coat.
Wei Zhiyuan spoke softly, "Brother ......"
Wei Qian tugged loose the tie around his neck that was strangling him a bit, and casually answered, "Huh?"
"He's about to belong to someone else," Wei Zhiyuan thought despairingly, "I've already given up and he's still never known ......"
The secretary's words ghosted back into his ears.
Tell him with your mouth ...... Tell him ......
Wei Qian realized that he didn't make a sound for a long time and thought that this drunken cat had fallen asleep.
His tie was half undone, a few fingers still tangled in the middle, half of his side seemed to want to look back at Wei Zhiyuan, just then, Wei Qian was caught off guard by a person who violently pounced back a few steps, straight against the wall.
"Brother ......"
The man pressed heavily on top of him, and with another such ravishing cry, before Wei Qian could react to what was going on, his collar, which was still wrapped around his loose tie, was suddenly yanked roughly over, and a searing kiss blocked his yet-to-be-opened question.
The desperate intensity of the turn of events swept through every corner in a devastating manner.
Wei Qian's mind went blank.
It was only then that he caught the scent of alcohol on the other man, too strong for words.
Just then, the door to Wei Qian's office was opened, and the sound of the door finally roused Wei Qian's sanity as he pushed Wei Zhiyuan away.
In the doorway stood the startled old bear.
Wei Zhiyuan staggered and fell backwards, his back hit Wei Qian's desk, the papers on the desk shook and fell, Wei Zhiyuan slid down like rotten mud, he felt that he had taken a punch on the chin, his lips were broken by the teeth, the smell of blood rushed to his nose, and his eyes were full of gold stars.
Old Bear quickly reacted and swiftly turned back to unlock the door, while rushing over to yank Wei Qian's fist that was about to fall again.
"Qian'er!" Old Bear gave Wei Qian a shoulder bump, dragged him a distance away, and rushed to his ear, "Not here, all right!"
Wei Qian felt his temples brought up the corners of his eyes in an endless flurry of jumping, and after standing up straight his eyes were almost
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Reading in Sections 59
As soon as he blackened, his face went white, Wei Zhiyuan infuriated him to the point of a sharp stabbing pain in his chest.
Old Bear pressed him hard into a chair, frowned at Wei Zhiyuan and bent down to check, "Didn't knock the back of your head, did you? Can you still stand up?"
Wei Zhiyuan rejected the hand he reached out to try to give him a hand and staggered up, his wine had sobered up, but he didn't want to think or say anything, just stood in silence.
Wei Qian's chest clogged with a breath for a long time before coming up, he did not want to explain to the old bear what was going on - even he himself could not figure out what was going on, so he had to pretend to be calm and said, "Looking for me to do what?"
Old Bear looked at the mess and sighed, bending down to pick up the papers that Wei Zhiyuan had knocked away, and after a moment of silence, he said softly, "Qian'er, I want to leave."
Wei Qian: "What?"
"I'm going to take Chen Lu away." Old Bear whispered, "Quitting, my stake will be transferred out, if you are willing to take it, take it over, if not, I'll transfer it to a third party."
Wei Qian took a deep breath, "You've decided?"
Old Bear: "Uh-huh."
Wei Qian was silent for a long while, finally closing his eyes and gently rubbing his temples, "Okay, I'll take it."
Old Bear nodded at him, not intending to linger any longer, and turned to go, on his way out the door, he took a deep look at Wei Zhiyuan standing in the shadows, and seemingly sighed, "I'll call a driver for you."
And there seemed to be more to the farce on this night.
After Wei Zhiyuan left, Xiao Bao made a trip home to make sure that Mrs. Song had something to eat and got her medicine before she hurriedly had to go back to school for evening study.
Mrs. Song walked her to the door as usual, instructing her to slow down on the way, and just then, Mrs. Song felt a warmth in her crotch/crotch, and she didn't react at first.
Xiaobao unintentionally glimpsed, "Ya, Grandma, why are your pants wet?"
Mrs. Song lowered her head as if she had been struck by lightning, and she was shocked and ashamed to find that she was actually incontinent.
Xiaobao then understood, busy throwing his schoolbag aside, rolling up his sleeves to help her change her pants, "I'll help you first ......"
Mrs. Song took a panicked step back.
"Grandma don't move, I'll change your pants."
"No need!" Old Mrs. Song, who had already sputtered, drank her down in a near hiss.
Bao had never heard her make such a mournful sound and froze in place for a moment.
Song old lady shivered and said, "You ...... you go ...... to school, go, go your."
Bo: "Grandma ......"
Old Mrs. Song held onto the wall with one hand and waved her walking stick at her, "Go! Quickly go!"
Po hesitated, "So you can do it yourself?"
Mrs. Song growled at her, "Go!"
Xiaobao: "Well well well, I'll go right away, you ...... what's that all right ah, you slow down, come back at night I'll wash your pants ...... ah ah ah ah, you don't worry, I'll go right away, right away."
Old Mrs. Song roughly shooed away Xiao Bao, feeling like a piece of her spine had been drained away, and it took her a full half hour or so to strain to change out of her pee-soaked pants and out of her sweat.
She wanted to cry out in a sea of fishy smells, but her tears had dried and she still couldn't cry a single teardrop.
Ten years ago, she came to this city all the way from her hometown to pick up rags, how poor she was then, how decent she was.
She had never imagined that she would one day end up in such a state, and Mrs. Song almost felt like she wasn't really a person anymore.
Just then there was a knock on the door of the house.
Old Mrs. Song didn't respond for a long time until Asako's mom's voice came from outside: "Old sister, are you asleep?"
Mrs. Song moved over and opened the door for her.
I saw Asako's mom sitting in a convenient wheelchair and carrying a crutch in one arm, dressed herself up and glowing, and she didn't take anything except a map and a bottle of mineral water.
"Old sister." Ma Zi Zi said, "I'm going to leave while they're gone; if I don't, it's going to get warmer, and I'll have to wait until next year."
When it's warmer, the strays don't die so well.
"I'll say goodbye." She finished, maneuvering her wheelchair toward the elevator with difficulty.
Just then, Old Mrs. Song suddenly called out to her, "Her aunt!"
Asako's mom looked back at her.
Old Mrs. Song s lips trembled for a long time, "I ...... will follow you, join you."
As if she had expected it, Ma Ma said without the slightest surprise, "You do it."
And so it was that the two women walked out of everyone's sight, together, on a cold night with the line of snow falling, never to be seen again.
Mrs. Song came from mid-autumn and went away to early spring, taking with her the last vestiges of dignity and decency.
"I at least know two words, wrote a suicide note, and left a letter." On the way, Asako's mom and Mrs. Song said this.
Mrs. Song asked, "What was written in the letter which?"
"It says 'I'm not dead, I'm just gone'."
It's not a death parting, it's just a life parting.
Misery and happiness are not brought in life, but in death.
Only dusk is gorgeous and supreme. --Hai Zi.
Author's Note: Volume 2 ends.